3 Reasons to be Single Over The Holidays

So you’re saying that it’s perfectly okay to be single during the coldest, cuddliest, romantic time of the year? Yes, that’s exactly what I am saying. Who cares if you don’t have someone spooning you throughout all the stages of winter, that’s what body pillows and snuggies are for. Holidays and obligated family functions are already stressful enough. Do you need to add another person into the mix to throw in with your chaotic family when you want to be stuffing your face with Grandma’s cookies and watching The Grinch in your onesie?

1. No Dreadful, Cliche Pics

I love receiving cute Christmas cards with perfectly matching outfits, half-assed smiles and ”candid” laughs, but that doesn’t mean I want actually to be in one. Maybe someday when I have a family of my own and live in the suburbs with my white picket fence but for now I want to go reindeer humping and scream Christmas songs in my underwear.

The constant competition that couples have to create the best holiday pic with their perfectly carved pumpkins, homemade turkey and Christmas tree decorating is repulsive. We get it; you take part in all of the holiday activities, but the person you’re banging is doing it with youand you need to post it everywhere trying to make everyone jealous. If I weren’t already barfing from eating every last bite of Grandma’s cookies, this would take the cake.

Work on your selfie game and eat your heart out this winter because the only person you should be trying to impress is yourself.

2. No Destination Stress

The underlying end-of-summer anxiety is coming in full force the second you trade in your flip-flops for fuzzy socks and rain boots. You’d much rather buy a ticket to the Bahamas than a random state to visit your twice removed Uncle.

Life is already unfair, but now you increase the odds, that aren’t in your favor, by adding in someone else’s family dysfunction to one of the most emotional times of the year?

I’m giving you three options.
1. Your Family; overwhelming amount of naked baby pics and cheek pinching
2. Their Family; faking it until you make it with forced small talk and questionable homemade food
3. You & Yourself; do anything and go anywhere you damn well, please
Now think long and hard about how the first two options are your worst nightmare and how you can’t believe you would even consider them.

You’re single, young and fun. Buy a ticket to somewhere you’ve been dying to go or make forts and binge watch whatever your heart desires.

3. No More Razor Burn

Summer is over which means booty shorts, tank tops, face sweat, and sandals have been stored away until June.
So now that there is a slim chance for body hair to be exposed why not give your razor a little time off and embrace the natural hairiness we all possess? I’m not saying embody Wolverine but you now have more than two days before anyone realizes you’re a human porcupine.

Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re not still getting it on occasionally, but shaving is no longer an everyday ritual.

Girls, you can now wear your leggings on the daily with the extra warmth from the fur you’ve been growing. Boys, you can now grow your facial hair passed the scruff and indulge on leftovers hidden within.

It’s a win-win for both genders because these chilly months are all about hibernation and getting in touch with yourself before making unrealistic attempts at your New Year’s resolutions.

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